I can almost see the light

    We began the testing phase of our journey this past Friday.  I got blood work done and by the time that was all said and done I think they ended up with half my blood.(not even joking)  Tom (my husband) also went to Dr. Ahlering's office on Friday to do his part of the testing, which I'm sure you all know what that means.  We got his initial results back that same day which looked very good.  They sent off for a DNA fragmentation test to be done and we are still waiting for those results to come back. 

There are potential babies in there!

      I had an appointment with Dr.Ahlering this morning to finish up my part of the testing phase. Let me just say he is one of the nicest people I have ever met.  His confidence in the whole matter really put my mind at ease.  He did an internal ultrasound to check my uterus, which he said all looked very good.  He also checked my ovaries, and said there are over 20 follicles in each ovary which he said is a classic sign of PCO.Dr. Ahlering gave me a picture of my ovaries so I could see what he was talking about. So every dark circle is a follicle.  Follow the link to find out more about what PCO is.  http://haveababy.com/infertility-information/pcos-and-pregnancy/    He was very reassuring that this was not something to get worked up about.  With fertility medication and a little help from him I think we are going to get that baby we've wanted.  So as long as everything else comes back normal, he said we will more than likely be able to get an IUI done.  IUI is short for intrauterine insemination.  Intrauterine insemination (IUI), the injection of sperm into the uterus by means of a catheter directed through the cervix, has been practiced for many years. The premise of the IUI procedure (a type of artificial insemination) is that sperm can reach and fertilize the egg more easily if they are placed directly into the uterine cavity. In addition, in cases where the cervical mucus is poor or hostile to sperm, intrauterine insemination circumvents these problems because it bypasses the cervix.
Since we have to wait for all the test results to come in and make sure doing an IUI is the best solution we are going to wait until my next cycle before we proceed any further. 
    I am feeling very optimistic after todays appointment.  After years of trying, and taking clomid and seeing negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test and crying myself to sleep, I feel like I am finally able to breath better.  We finally got some answers. I know we are still waiting on the other half of Tom's test and my blood work to come back, but I can finally see the light trying to peek through at the end of that long dark tunnel. 

Our struggles thus far....

It seems like it's been an eternity getting to this point.  I'm not even sure where to begin, so I guess the beginning is a good place.  We have tried starting a family for 3 almost 4 years now.  I have struggled with having regular cycles since before I got married.  We tried for a year with no success.  I then went to my doctor to see if we could figure out what the problem was.  I ended up being put on clomid for six months, which is a fertility drug to help stimulate ovulation.  At the end of the six months I still wasn't pregnant.  My doctor upped the amount of clomid from 50mg to 100mg and we tried again for 3 more months, still unsuccessful.  Long story short I have been on clomid off an on for 3 years, in addition to different tests being ran on me and my husband to try to get to the bottom of it. Needless to say when I ran out of clomid this last time which was in January of 2012, I went to see my doctor and he and I both felt it was time to get a second opinion and see someone different.  Which has led me to Dr. Ahlering at the Sher Institute in St. Louis. 
        All of this has taken a huge toll on me, physically and emotionally.  I'm one who has a hard time releasing control over to anyone else including God.  I have a huge support system behind me including my family and church family.  This is probably one of the hardest things I have had to go through.  I have had a hard time understanding and figuring out why it hasn't happened, and why it happens to others who don't want children.  Talking with my Mom,  pastor and best friend Kendall continuously has helped me put those thoughts at ease. They have helped me realize that God has a plan for me and I have no control over how it happens or when it happens.  I've come to the conclusion that we will have a family, whether it's through me or through adoption doesn't matter, what matters is  that it will happen and it will happen all in God's timing. 
      So right now we are pursuing testing with Dr.Ahlering and I am very anxious to see where this takes us.